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| Holy Shit! <3
It has been a month and one day since I even visited Xanga.
Well I guess I'm back.
I found a new way to like blog or whatever. I've become even more of an internet addict and made a fucking website. It's a pain in the ass to get the site address though so I'll post it later.
I guess things have been ok lately. Grier Graduation was really sad and I miss everyone like the shit.
Lately, I've been chillin' with Victoria and Poppy and some of Victoria's friends. It's been fun fun fun, but I've done some shit I could get into.. shit for.
I went to go visit Ashley Galetto for like 5 days in New Jersey and Janet Carey was there also. That was... strange.
Ok well I have nothing else to write. So yeah.
AIM: OooOSpitfireOooO
MySpace: www.myspace.com/parisusa or www.myspace.com/pursecannibal
Durrrrr <3 | | |
| Ok well lemme start off by saying I'm still at Grier, I'm not going anwhere.. Probably not for 6 years.
The reason I decided to update today is someone came up to me today cuz they heard me talking about my boyfriend and they started asking me "I thought you were a lesbian?". I am bi-sexual. I am not a lesbian lol. Lemme add the person who asked me this is someone who has hardly ever said a word to me... ever. So when someone who I don't know randomly comes up to me and asks me about my sexuality it does get to me a little. I told her "No. I'm bi." and she said "Oh ok so first you're straight, then a lesbian, now bi?!?" and I said "No, I was straight then Bi". Then she goes "Ok, so what do girls do to each other when they have sex? I mean it can't be like normal so what do they do." This is a topic I don't like to discuss, especially if I don't know you. It pissed me off, a lot. She kept asking and kept asking and I kept telling her and kept telling her "go look it up or something I'm not going to tell you!" Then someone else stepped in and said something like "Ok so how would you feel if someone you never talked to came up to you and asked you everything you've ever done with a guy?" I was really happy this person said this because if she didn't i would have probably had to sit there listening to this girl ask me over and over again what girls do when they fuck.
I dunno, I guess my real question is...Why does it matter what we all are now when we all know that when we're like 90 and and about to die we're all gonna be sitting in the same boat there. It won't matter if we're Lesbians, Straight, or Bi. If it's not gonna matter then, then why should we give a fuck about it now?
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| It would be sad if I got expelled for this it's bullshit. Wasn't my idea, wasn't my choice and now I am in my room with the permission to lock it so people don't bother me. It wasn't my idea to go try and find Cloyd for cigarettes, it was hers. It wasn't my fault Blair wanted to go on AIM on my phone. It is my own goddamn fault that I let her though. It wasn't my fault though that she started IMing people from school pretending to be Sammy Walters. I don't even know who Sammy Walters is. And again it's not my fault that Blair made Lacey call Borst who then called me and thats how the whole school went out looking for me last night.
Like have you ever had that feeling when you are scared to leave your room or scared to just do what you have done every day for the past year because you think that maybe staying in your room and doing nothing is the only thing you should do? Thats how I feel right now. I am hungry as hell, but something is keeping me from putting my shoes on and walking to the lunchroom and getting breakfast, I want a cigarette so bad, but something is keeping me from pestering Angela for about 10 mins until she gives me one. I could use the sweet cancer right now though. Maybe I will go find Angela. If I have the courage to leave my room that is. Another thing is, Borst said she would "talk to me today". Maybe I can avoid that talk until monday. I don't need more drama.
Bye Bye.
Paris. 
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| !.hi.people.who.i.love.dearly.!
BLAH! It's extra help and so far the only thing I've been able to do is have the hiccups for 30 mins straight and listen to pointless songs about whatever shit.
Ok on a happy note which would somehow explain why I have the title Fuck Grier for this blog is.. I AM IN LOVE. Yes in love, No I am not kidding. No it is not a grier girl.. Do you think I am THAT stupid?!? He is the sweetest guy in the WORLD. I love him dearly. Yesterday he said something like "I just wanna be the boyfriend who holds you when youre sad and is with you all the time... n shit like that" or something like that, I thought it was the sweetest thing ever, especially since he ended it with "n shit like that" (thats my type  ). Ok well yes now that I am becoming more and more unsingle I have realized something.....
I WANT THIS FUCKING SCHOOL YEAR TO FUCKING END AND I FUCKING WANT TO GET OUT OF THIS FUCKING HELL HOLE AND IF I DON'T I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL SOMEONE AND I WANT TO BE HOME FOR THE FUCKING SUMMER AND I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS FUCKING SUMMERSTOCK ACTING PROGRAM IN FRANCE THAT MY FUCKING GRANDMOTHER IS MAKING ME DO BECAUSE I WANT TO BE WITH MY FUCKING BOYFRIEND... GOD FUCKING FUCKING FUCK FUCK FUCKITTY FUCK FUCK FUCK DAMMIT SHIT, MAN!
Par%Par
PS: HEY! Not EVERYTHING can be positive.
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| We did a Drama Skit today. I guess it was good. The "We" I am speaking of is part of the drama class. Tanya, Chandler, Monica, Annie, Suzie, Julie, Amanda, Me (I think thats all). The thing about me is if I look at the crowd I'll freeze up like a statue so I had to constantly look at the other characters. I guess the constant fear of freezing up or something makes me want to just like get it over with or something so I tend to start to speed up my lines. I was at this one part and I started stumbling over my words and like slurring. I fucked up. I got through it though and it was ok. Then I guess Suzie forgot I had a line or something and said hers while I was going to say mine and I stopped talking so we skipped one line and that was fine.. I would have probably fucked that one up too. GAAAHH! I really think I fuck everything up. Someone once told me (*cough* my sister *cough*) "It only takes one person to fuck up the whole show, Paris.. Remember that". On a happier note.. I'm going to the mall tonight! Yay!!! First time I'm going to the mall since like before Spring Break. I think this might actually be a good weekend..
<3 Par%Par.
PS####### CHANDLER'S HOME FOR THE WEEKEND YAYAAYAYAYAYAYA
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